Weekly Review -- No entry

Chernobyl Diaries (2012) -- The Chernobyl disaster was one of the worst nuclear disasters in history. When a shutdown was attempted after a sudden power surge in one of the reactors in April 1986, a series of explosions occurred, sending large amounts of radioactive fallout into Europe's atmosphere. As of 2008, there were 64 deaths caused by radiation. From 1986 to 2000, over 350,000 people were evacuated and re-settled from contaminated areas.

And then, in 2012, someone decided that a horror film with the incident as the background would be a great idea because, you see, the event itself was not frightening enough. With Oren Peli (Paranormal Activity) producing and Bradley Parker at the helm, Chernobyl Diaries is horrifying for reasons other than intended and offensive in so many ways, it would take forever to count them all.

A group of tourists, including Amanda (Devin Kelley) and Chris (Jesse McCartney), are traveling Europe. When they visit Chris's brother Paul (Jonathan Sadowski) in Kiev, he suggests visiting Pripyat, a town abandoned after the Chernobyl meltdown. Once the group get there, they are excited to be exploring the ghostly residential areas and the never opened amusement park. When they intend to leave, they find that their car battery had died, leaving them stranded. As the night rolls around, they discover that they are not alone in the disaster zone... 

Where to start with this vile and cynical "film"? It boggles the mind that someone would be so insensitive as to tackle a real life tragedy in this manner. While the filmmakers claim that the piece was made with respect for the victims, I am not able to see how a tale of mutants chasing tourists is respectful to anyone. How about Three Mile Island next time, for good measure? The fact that the characters have no clue about the incident only adds to my incredulity. Could it be that someone in this world has not heard of the Chernobyl explosion? Have they been living under a rock? Being born in the recent decades does not justify ignorance. I was born after the French Revolution, yet I still know about it. Furthermore, the whole concept of extreme tourism and willingly putting oneself in danger is beyond my comprehension. Seeking thrills in a radioactive wasteland does not seem fun to me, but to each their own. Actually, the only emotional kick comes from the sequence where two characters find themselves in the one place where they should never have ended up; then again, they are so mindless, they could not even see it coming.

The plot holes are bigger than Ukraine. Why on Earth did they simply not WALK? Yes, because of the distance and those wild dogs, but hell, at least try and do not just sit there playing the target. My favorite part? The Geiger counter only being used occasionally, as if the group were not in one of the most contaminated regions of the world. That thing should have been glued to someone's hip. And what is with the ending? Are we talking about mutated survivors or an experiment or what? If you want to have a big reveal, do not make it vague in your effort to create a mystery.

There is no characterization at all, although the actors valiantly do their best. All of the characters are so devoid of opinions and personality, they blend together into a single Dumb Tourist figure from the beginning. Kelley and Sadowski are good, but occasionally need to be reminded that this is far from Shakespeare and that they should not be looking for depth in shallow waters. 

The most bizarre thing about Chernobyl Diaries is that, in an alternate reality, the concept might have worked. The idea of radioactivity as the silent killer and mutants hunting down tourists in the shadow of a derelict nuclear reactor is great fodder for a claustrophobic horror piece. It plays upon the universal fears of disease and abandonment, as well as one's notion of humanity. All in all, a great premise.

If only its context were fiction.

3/10